I am not sure if it’s from recently turning thirty-three, doing more dentistry, or the fact that I sleep like an udon noodle wrapped into a pretzel twice, but lately I’ve been feeling the physical effects of simply existing. I can only imagine the soreness Jesus experienced with all that carpentry and walking! I am proud of myself for taking a day off this week to allow my muscles and bones (and brain) to stop aching. I returned to work the next day, but I have been thinking about the physicality of my career, the sustainability of my hyperactive lifestyle, and how to not hobble around for the rest of my days.
Most dentists wear magnification loupes to protect our eyes from the saliva and blood aerosolized during procedures. The magnification, of course, helps us see tiny teeth and gums way back in the dark, wet, cave of the human mouth. During the purchasing process, we are fitted by representatives from the loupes companies to measure working distance and ensure our necks won’t be craned at an unfavorable angle. Still, one-third of dentists who retire early do so due to musculoskeletal pain. Last year after herniating a disc in my lower back, I started physical therapy to strengthen my core and better support my back. Another occupational modification I’ve made is standing during treatment instead of sitting. I had to purchase some very ugly but extremely uncomfortable shoes to aid my feet, but the benefits have been numerous. I was expecting alleviation on my back and neck, but I wasn’t expecting to be see so much more easily than I could when I was sitting. By standing tall, stretching my arms out, and taking a literal step back, I feel immediate relief in my shoulder and neck muscles, and I can appreciate my treatment zone through both 4x magnification and a broader view at the same time.
This professional discovery is ironic to me because there are multiple aspects of my personal life in which my laser-focused point of view has caused me to miss the forest for the trees. I’m a little embarrassed, to be honest. I feel seen and less alone, however, thinking about Jesus’s good friends Mary and Martha.
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,”the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” – Luke 10:38-42 NIV.
If you know me at all, you know I am Martha in this passage. If I’m granted the opportunity to host (and for Jesus, no less!), I will be breaking out the wedding registry serving platters. I will be furiously dusting in the last 45 seconds before guests arrive. I will notice some stubborn stain on the stove, and scrub until my fingers are raw, missing Jesus in the living room laughing with, listening to, and refreshing Mary with his presence. I love productivity. I love a checklist, and I love a goal. Below are my birthday goals for my Jesus year:
- Love others like Jesus did- sacrificially and with immense intentionality of time and resources. Allowing curiosity to drive compassion
- Get healthier
- Learn French
(Yes – the decision not to make these into S.M.A.R.T goals was both painful and intentional.)
Briefly zooming in on the first goal, it’s much easier to focus on applying a Christlike attitude towards others without examining myself first. The goal, after all, starts with “love others”! Reflecting on Jesus’s own year 33, however, it’s clear that his ability to perform the biggest miracle in history (living a perfect life, dying a gruesome death for sins, and resurrecting three days later) did not happen by happenstance. From the beginning, Jesus had a panoramic view of his ultimate purpose. Each time he snuck away for solitude with God, each rebuke of the Pharisees, each breathtaking miracle didn’t distract from the mission. There were many humans who weren’t healed on this side of heaven, and I wonder what would have happened if one of the denigrating jeers from the angry crowds had derailed Jesus from his journey to the cross (praise God that didn’t happen!). Candidly, I’ve been feeling a lethargy and a whiplash from the news headlines, my physical signs of aging, and Houston weather this month. But I don’t want to be so focused on our fallen world that I forget that He conquered it all. This isn’t an excuse for ignorance and apathy, but rather yet another invitation to follow Jesus. My bonus birthday goal, then, is to follow Jesus’s example, welcoming the tension of now and not yet, and embracing the duality of being both nearsighted and farsighted. I hope that in taking a step back from myself, I will see more of Him.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33 NIV
