How the Dental Chair Reminded Me of Heaven: Celebrating Death to Death

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.- Matthew 6:19-20 NIV

Last month, the world lost the beloved Tim Keller, faithful pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City. Keller had an inimitable gift of communicating God’s word in a transparent, tangible, transformative manner. He dedicated his life to sharing about the good news of Jesus Christ dying for our sins to redeem us to the Lord simply because God loves us that much , and how the gospel truly changes everything. I’ve always admired Tim Keller’s faith, and realized I was struggling with processing both the grief of losing such an incredible theologian and rejoicing that his long struggle with pancreatic cancer is over and he is rejoicing with his Savior. 

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parrots of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even there the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. - Psalm 139:7-12 ESV 

The Lord in His kindness has been patient with my penchant for staying incredibly busy in order to avoid processing what is happening under the surface. But of course, there’s no outrunning His love. God used a regular day at the dental office to open my eyes to the reality of death, the resultant grief that threatens to smother  us, and ultimately the hope made available in spite of it. 

Last week, I met a patient, an 84 year old firecracker of a woman, who did not did not mix words. After taking a few minutes to warm up to my chatty energy, she started telling me how she felt about her teeth. She tole me how she could barely chew, how she hated how her teeth looked, and how she was thinking of “having them all yanked out and starting over”. She candidly spoke of her dental decisions being strongly influenced by her amount of time she had left on earth. She shared how she is 7 years older than her mother was when she passed,  and that she  has said goodbye to multiple friends, her sister, and most painfully and recently, her beloved husband. “Honestly, I’m ready to go, doc.  I’m done here. I can’t wait to see my husband again. I just know he’s gonna be up there!” A nostalgic twinge of her lip into a half smile, a fleeting but unmistakable sparkle of hope in voice, and then the moment had passed. 

If she saw me tear up through my dental loupes, she didn’t show it.

For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. - John 3:16 ESV

 Upon reflection, I think I was feeling emotional not because my patient was explicitly ready to die, although that was quite jarring for me as well. I was more shaken because of the firm confidence she had in what was coming after her death. The day our hearts stop beating will arrive for all of us. These physical bodies will decompose and be forgotten. But our stories don’t have to end there. More overwhelming than the idea of not existing (or worse, my favorite people in the whole world, my loved ones not being here with me) on this earth anymore is the flooring realization that in Christ, we will be reunited one day. Heaven awaits, not because of anything we have done or not done, and in spite of our flaws, hypocrisy, and even misrepresentation of Christ’s heart. If we’ll only just believe and entrust our hearts, Heaven awaits because we are so loved that a man willingly died for us to be reconciled to the one who knows and loves us more than any human being can even comprehend. 

When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. - 1 Corinthians 15:54-57 NIV

Death. 

With all my faith, I still shudder when I think about death. Historically, I have grieved heavily  after losing distant friends in college, parents of close friends,  and several pets. I try not to dwell too hard on how I’ll initially react when death hits even closer to home. But for all my shuddering, I try to spend as much time rejoicing in what is to come. My husband Zacch is my best friend, and now that he’s in my life, I can’t imagine not spending every day with him. As much as I’ll await reuniting with my sweet husband after one of us dies, I know that that is just a foretaste of the fullness awaiting in heaven. In Christ’s presence, I’ll celebrate His glory, His redemption of my wayward heart, the end of suffering, illness, injustice, and all forms of evil, and of course, the final defeat of death . I’m committed to savoring every second here on earth,  but I’m comforted by the blessed assurance of what’s next as well. 

Live now, but don’t live for just now, y’all. 🤍

(PS- as previously mentioned, I am forever grateful to the faithfulness of Pastor Tim Keller. From the earliest days of my faith, I have relished his teachings and his seemingly effortless ways of guiding believers and non-believers through the Bible. In addition to his consistent pointing to scriptures,  I’ve returned to his books and other works  in seasons of singleness, marriage, work transition and more. I try my best not to recommend books I haven’t read myself, but I know Tim Keller’s book On Death will undoubtedly help myself and others wrap our heads around this inevitable topic and refine our faith in the process. Some short quotes from the book can be found here. Read on!)

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